Day 6 started out fantastically…..it did not end that way. I know that since things have been going so well I’ve been easing up on my determination to do this right. Last night was a reminder that things can change at a moments notice and I can’t let up even for a second. I havae to continue all these things that I’m working on until they are second nature. If I stop now everything will just go back to the way it was. So I’m back on the horse, I’m going to hit this harder than ever because I DO NOT want a repeat of this…
Yesterday was going very well. We had a little discussion about where our relationship was headed, I threw out the idea of maybe casually dating each other to try and start over and rebuild our relationship. That idea was met with crickets chirping, but at least it wasn’t met with a “NO”, which is what it would have gotten a week ago. He left shortly after I got home from work, I asked if he would be coming back and he said maybe, all normal stuff. A little bit later I called to ask if he was going to come by, he said yes he had some stuff to do and then would be by. The clock starts ticking, and ticking and ticking and he doesn’t show up. He won’t answer his phone or texts. I finally put together that he’s at the bar with his HORRIBLE friend. I knew right then it was going to be a terrible night. This person is not a friend, he’s a selfish, abusive, horrible person who is miserable with life and wants my man to be miserable with him since he has no other friends. At least not any that like him. I know the key to our relationship working out is for that guy to go jump off a cliff because everytime we start to make progress he gets in my guy’s head and undoes everything. He’s an insect that needs to go infest someone else’s family.
Anyways, my day 6 challenge was to find areas in my schedule that I could add margin to and to make a list of wrong motivations that I need to release. I’m still not positive what either of those things mean but I did my best.
For my schedule, I decided that if I start implementing a normal dinner, bath and bedtime routine with the kids, things will be calmer at night and we will get more alone time, assuming he is there. Also, there is a strong possibility that my work schedule will be changing in a couple weeks, which will allow me to start taking T to school in the morning, letting him sleep in with E.
As for wrong motivations that I need to release, jealousy is one. Always assuming he is doing something shady or with someone else. Trying to manipulate him for selfish reasons, mooching his stuff. Yes I live under the motto “what’s mine is yours” but he does not and I need to learn to respect that and not take advantage of his kindness and inability to say no to most everyone.
So far this morning is going OK. When he showed up this morning, I did everything in my power to not start a fight about last night. I expressed my disapointment and left it at that. We will see how the rest of the day plays out.
Today’s challenge is to get two sheets of paper and list out your partner’s positves and negatives…..this shall be an easy one 🙂
16pathwaystoawesome 